Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Depression?

Maybe. Or just loneliness combined with confusion and cat hair. Lots of cat hair. The kind of hair I wake up to and feel as though I'm lost in a field of dander. I hate it. I feel like my entire biological system has been altered by this continental change.
As far as my mental stability goes, that may be something that develops and changes over time. At the moment I keep drifting into my own thoughts, and I feel detached from what is being said. People talk at me, and I mostly hear them echo in the background. I am still very much in some sort of numb state, and that in itself is depressing. It's not as though my life is bad, or I am losing at my day to day tasks and accomplishments. I am merely lost. I almost feel like a ghost, wandering around, seeing those around me, but I feel like they can't see me. And there is nothing quirky or comical about it as Ghost Dad may suggest. It's lonely, lonely, lonely.
I miss my friends. And in some ways that applies to here and there. I want to be with my friends in London, and I want to reform friendships that have been put on hold here.
I guess I'll just keep watching movies and pulling myself out of my surroundings.

1 comment:

Noah Bowen said...

Don't worry lady, it is a big change. All I can advise is watch loads of movies, but you might have to face reality sometime. If you dont think you can adjust, you can just move back here and get a job (after getting a visa of course).

Rowan Davies

P.S. I also feel like shit.