Things I’ve Learned from Women Who’ve Dumped Me: Edited by Ben Karlin

Let me start by saying I wasn’t ever planning to review books. And I probably won’t in the future. But, considering this is the first book I have completed in the past couple of months, I figured I should say why. The book is composed of a series of essays written by some of today’s best minds… In my opinion, comedians. Male comedians, to be specific. Stephen Colbert, David Wain, and Bob Odenkirk are just a few examples in this array of enrichment.
Obviously, based on the titled, it is quite simple to get an idea of the general theme. And as a woman, I just had to know. What have they learned? Because, having been the dumped and the dumpee myself, I know exactly what I have learned. Relationships are a lot of work. And even if you find one that works, it isn’t going to be bliss.
But more importantly, my reasoning for diving into this book was to get into a man’s head. I have always wanted to know what men are REALLY thinking. Even my best male friends shelter me and hide their real feelings. I know it! If we are at a bar drinking, they say things about me or about themselves when I step in to a bathroom that they don’t want me to hear. Why would that happen? Because women do it too. But I just can’t stop myself from eagerly wondering what is going on inside the male love cavern, located somewhere within their brain, and perhaps… elsewhere… if you get my meaning.
This book definitely gave me that insight. Of all the dumb books I have heard about over my live, such as “Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus” and all that shit, this was realistic. It was filled with stories of real heartbreak, bitterness, contempt, and sometimes, love. Some of these men not only held onto the memories of women they loved, but also simple junior high crushes, or brief encounters. Often those few moments meant more to them than entire relationships.
I should also say that this book made me feel somewhat guilty. During many of the chapters, I knew right away what side of the story I was on. The heartbreaker. But I also found myself on the other side as well! The one who got left with nothing. Maybe just a faded explanation of what wasn’t there. These stories made me feel better about the chances of being understood. And also, maybe recognizing that even if men don’t appear to be listening, or caring, they are. They seem to have remembered everything they did wrong, even if they weren’t aware of it at the time. They learned from the break ups, and carried that knowledge on to the next woman they loved.
Although men and women like to fall back on the idea that they are just different, I don’t think that is necessarily true. When it comes down to it, differences aside, we break the same way. We look back and dwell on the details and the intricacies of what didn’t happen, or maybe what should have.
Regardless of what side you are on, or what side you have been on in a break up, men and women alike, I think you should read this book. It puts things in perspective, in a witty, smart, and meaningful way.